Sit down and make yourself at home.

I’m wanting a pair of Toms… Should I get a pair? 

To the girl who lives down the street, I hope you got your way. I hope your happy being abused by your boyfriend. I hope you had a fun time using me for practically anything you can pull out of me. I’m washing my hands and getting rid of you. But I will admit this, I will always like you. Even though I doubt that you did (and you said you did, but I never believed you) I just thought you were too good for me. I put myself out there for you, and you just crush me in the end. Another mistake learned, time to put on my big boy pant’s and not let you get to me. You will always be on my mind, even if it’s bad for my health. Even though I said go, what I meant to really say is that I wanted you to stay. You’ve texted me a hundred times, I’m not picken up.  I was just so mad that I was afraid of me getting hurt. I’m sorry.. I only use that when I need to because I actually mean it. It’s not a word to me, it’s something that I feel. It’s meaningless in today’s time because it’s so over used. I just wanted you to know that being treated right for once and seeing you happy makes my day. But I’ll turn my head whenever I see you, no matter how much it hurts.. 

Forever & Always. 

iwishtoconfess:

JUST ONCE.

Just once, I wish that good karma would come my way.

All I’m asking is that things don’t end so badly. Just this one time.

As of the past two years of my life, I have watched my old friends change into something they would never turn into. In high school, it’s all about sex, drugs, alcohol and parties. If you do that, society labels you a bad person; but then again society makes you look cool for it. But being a person who hasn’t touch a thing (nor will I ever will), you get judged for it. I don’t get it!! Whatever happened to actually staying true to yourself? Yes, I may fall in love, but that doesn’t mean a silly little teenage relationship will last forever. What has society turned into? 

So I like this girl. We’ve been friends ever since I moved into my new house since last summer, and everything has been neutral between us. In the three months, her boyfriend of 10 months has started to get more aggressive with her. He’s been abusing her mentally and emotionally. She tried to leave him once, but he threatened to kill himself if she did. So she came back to him. Later that week, they got into a fight and she made him leave from her house. She wouldn’t let him back in, so he got angry and broke down her back door. Being her friend, I’ve been there for her every time shes down. Her boyfriend only want’s her one thing which is obvious. She doesn’t want to give it up to him because she know’s she’s better than that. But for the past month, we’ve liked each other. I’ve been there for her more and more, telling her to leave before it’s too late. She’s in denial about her relationship and everything about it, even though I’ve been pointing out the red flags. She told me she likes me also, but the thing is before all of this happened; me, the girl and her bf were all really good friends. No strings attached. I unfriended her bf because I didn’t like the way he treats her. So he told her never to talk to me, or hang out with me again. She’s been talking/hanging with me behind his back. Nothing has happened, I gave myself boundaries. But lately I’ve been building up. I’ve been waiting for her to leave him, which she told me she would, but it has never happened. So finally I gave up on her because I was tired of her being hurt, and also me. She was hot and cold with me, sweet and affectionate one day and totally reserved the next. I would pour my heart out into a text about her and she would never respond. She only talked to me when it was convenient for her, or when she needed cheering up I was that guy. I realized that I was being used for emotional support at her convenience. I told her what I thought and she flipped out on me for being the good guy. I appologized for how I treated her like a human, didn’t want her for sex and never did hurt her or put her down. I always treat a woman with respect and that’s final. But anyway’s she said she was done and she also said that everything between us was a waste of time. 

It’s been about a week now and I’ve been really hurt. Plus it doesn’t help when she’s your next door neighbor and you have a class with her. It tears me up knowing that she’ll do anything to please her bf. The other day I missed school for a funeral, and after she said goodbye to me the week before (supposedly), she texted me wanting to know where I’ve been and why I’ve been upset. I ignored her text message and never responded.   I deleted her from my facebook and every other possible thing that can lead her to communicate with me. 

My question is, do you think she used me? Do you think she really liked me? What do I do? Do I let her figure herself out? Do I just need to ignore her? I need some advice as I cannot be anymore confused with life right now. My heart is telling me to go after her, but my brain is telling me to let the situation dissolve itself out. 

So I guess my neighbor’s are going to be welcoming a kid from Germany later this summer cause he’ll be a foreign exchanged student. He’ll be 15 and a junior. I think my senior year after this summer will be really neat :) Can’t wait to meet my new neighbor kid too.